I had been thinking that I should follow up my previous post. That maybe some points warranted further elaboration and that I needed to be transparent about the ways that I struggle with truth-telling…
And then I received this from my friend Hala:
Love this…it IS a challenge. I find that I write, or rather journal, when I need to get a deep truth out, and it’s sometimes so honest, I’m afraid someone else might see it (I’ve even ripped or burned pages afterwards..but always felt good to have just gotten it …OUT). Unfortunately, I don’t do it NEARLY as often as I would like, or should. And I do think there are some…perhaps even many truths that need not be shared with others (except maybe a very close, and open hearted confidante – if necessary). But most importantly, they should be realized, accepted, and internalized by yourself. Some truths, while freeing on some level, can cause much hurt for others – so who these truths are exposed to, and how, matter. I think it’s a balancing act – but ultimately, the goal should be contentment, honesty with oneself, and self reflection.
Her words beautifully capture the essence of the post. The importance of “getting it out” with the goal of “contentment, honesty with oneself, and self reflection”…
On another note, my sister pokes fun at me about my Facebook profile. She says that anyone looking at it would think I led a prefect existence and that CLEARLY is not true… I often project my best self in public spaces. And what I want to share with you is: any wisdom I express in this forum is the result of becoming awake to my suffering, my struggling, my anxiety.
I am on a healing path, not because I am healed or enlightened, but because (against my logical mind) I am choosing to be awake to what is. So I propose truth-telling as a way to be with what is. Hala is right– we don’t need to go sharing our truth with any ol’ person. Our truth in any moment might be that we our obsessive, neurotic, and deeply wounded. And there is simply no way around that reality.
Our truth also changes. One way to take responsibility for it is to first be with your truth in solitude and then to share in a safe space. Where I struggle is in being with the truth of who I am in relationship to others. I have fears about pushing people away… Being too big, too raw, too much. Again, to use Hala’s words, finding an open-hearted confidante is healing.
Our intention to grow and heal is what counts here.
The courageous act of being with what is true in that moment is transformative. Try the exercises to practice truth-telling. And remember you have many companions on this journey…
With love, E