I had been thinking that I should follow up my previous post. That maybe some points warranted further elaboration and that I needed to be transparent about the ways that I struggle with truth-telling…
And then I received this from my friend Hala:
Love this…it IS a challenge. I find that I write, or rather journal, when I need to get a deep truth out, and it’s sometimes so honest, I’m afraid someone else might see it (I’ve even ripped or burned pages afterwards..but always felt good to have just gotten it …OUT). Unfortunately, I don’t do it NEARLY as often as I would like, or should. And I do think there are some…perhaps even many truths that need not be shared with others (except maybe a very close, and open hearted confidante – if necessary). But most importantly, they should be realized, accepted, and internalized by yourself. Some truths, while freeing on some level, can cause much hurt for others – so who these truths are exposed to, and how, matter. I think it’s a balancing act – but ultimately, the goal should be contentment, honesty with oneself, and self reflection.
Her words beautifully capture the essence of the post. The importance of “getting it out” with the goal of “contentment, honesty with oneself, and self reflection”…
On another note, my sister pokes fun at me about my Facebook profile. She says that anyone looking at it would think I led a prefect existence and that CLEARLY is not true… I often project my best self in public spaces. And what I want to share with you is: any wisdom I express in this forum is the result of becoming awake to my suffering, my struggling, my anxiety.
I am on a healing path, not because I am healed or enlightened, but because (against my logical mind) I am choosing to be awake to what is. So I propose truth-telling as a way to be with what is. Hala is right– we don’t need to go sharing our truth with any ol’ person. Our truth in any moment might be that we our obsessive, neurotic, and deeply wounded. And there is simply no way around that reality.
Our truth also changes. One way to take responsibility for it is to first be with your truth in solitude and then to share in a safe space. Where I struggle is in being with the truth of who I am in relationship to others. I have fears about pushing people away… Being too big, too raw, too much. Again, to use Hala’s words, finding an open-hearted confidante is healing.
Our intention to grow and heal is what counts here.
The courageous act of being with what is true in that moment is transformative. Try the exercises to practice truth-telling. And remember you have many companions on this journey…
With love, E
3 thoughts on “Radical Advice: Keep telling the truth…”
You can lie to your friends, your family, complete strangers … you can lie to yourself, but ultimately, hide the truth from everyone else, you can not hide the truth from yourself. Even if the only person in whom you confide and with whom you share and confront the truth is yourself, it is a healing and growing process.
Thank you so much for the honor of being mentioned in this post – I am grateful to have the opportunity to share my heart as I grow and learn and struggle. As always, I enjoyed hearing your thoughts, and breathing in the wisdom you share. I’ve actually been making my way through the exercises, and I especially like the first one – it was so revealing for me.
Thank you for elaborating and re-directing my attention to this important exercise. It’s also healthy to be reminded that the people who seem so happy, together, care-free, and so on, have the same doubts and issues the rest of us have.
My rational voice often interrupts my emotional/wanna tell the truth voice half-way through a confessional. Feeling guilty (I don’t know that that’s the best word) about having it relatively good whereas others are struggling with “real” problems gets in the way of even starting that healing or enlightenment.
So thank you for reminding me to start this path once more.