i mistook your mask
for the expansiveness
of your heart.
your music sang
of depths and heights.
your notes expressed wisdom and truth.
your words resonated light and dark.
thus, i assumed you too could take in the breadth of our existence.
the fortitude to dig deeper
raging against, breaking through, waking up.
the hard work of crafting a life with meaning.
including the missteps, wrong turns, failures.
tolerating life as it is
heartbreaking, messy, glorious.
i see more clearly now.
your love lives in a pool
and when you grow weary you banish your guests.
you’ve heard of the ocean
even glimpsed its amplitude for yourself
yet your heart is frightened of its tides.
you refuse to take in the beauty and profundity it inhabits.
preferring to muddle exquisiteness with intoxicants
to stay blind with distractions
easing your fears with slander and chatter.
pretending you’re in control doesn’t make it true.
i’m not fooled by your act
i will not be shamed by your judgements.
leaving you behind
finding my freedom
my ancestors, neptune and yemaya
guiding the way.