Fury, a poem

i mistook your mask
for the expansiveness of your heart

your music sang of depths and heights
light and dark
wisdom and heart

i assumed you could savor life’s wonder
thought you had the muscle to dig deeper

you don’t have what it takes to break through
you don’t really want to wake up

this grueling work of crafting a life
embracing the wrong turns, the missteps

tolerating life as it is
messy and glorious

i see more clearly now
your love lives in a pool
and when you grow weary
you banish your guests

you’ve heard of the ocean
glimpsed its amplitude for yourself
yet when you meet the tides, your feet tremble

you refuse to take in its profundity
staying blind with distractions
easing your fears with incessant chatter
muddling exquisiteness with intoxicants

pretending you’re in control doesn’t make it true
i will not be shamed by your judgements
i’m not fooled by your act

leaving you behind
deep diving
my ancestors, neptune and yemaya
lighting the way.

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