Have you ever noticed how hard it is to tell the truth? I mean the real truth of our being. Not the, I’m fine. How are you? typical response… To tell what is really present for us in any moment is difficult. And when we do risk to share it is, sadly, not always received with the presence and compassion we would hope.
Yet, it is vital to be honest and authentic. To find the safe spaces where we can whisper, pray, shout, sob, or state our truth.
Imagine a space where you could say, I’m grieving, or I’m in lust, or I’ve fallen out of love, or I’m afraid, or I feel alive and triumphant or I’m angry. Imagine having any of those confessions received without shaming or questioning or judging. Imagine the feelings that arise when you finally speak what is in your heart, or on your mind, or emerging from your soul.
Of course, this would require us to be tuned in to what our heart, mind, or soul is speaking. And, no, our inner world does not always reflect the most ideal, enlightened or common sense position. That’s what makes telling the truth so difficult. Being with the reality of the human experience is scary stuff.
Being with the Truth sometimes seems easier. We are light and love. We are all connected. There is a higher purpose to our existence. We have the capacity to be loving, generous and merciful beyond our understanding. Miracles happen everyday… Yet, the truth of our relationship with ourselves, with others, with money, with food, with sex, are what often is left unexpressed.
It almost seems easier to accept the cliches about spirituality and healing than it is to accept the state of things as they are. Both are true: We are whole and wounded, sages and clowns, lightness and shadow…
So now that you’ve committed to being with what is, where do we begin? We might want to start with becoming curious about our relationships. Noticing how we really feel when we’re with that person. Noticing where our money goes. Noticing what we’re putting into our bodies. Noticing how we spend our time…
What I am proposing is to just look. Notice rather than analyze or examine. Place your gentle awareness rather than judge as right or wrong, stupid or smart.
We sometimes think that saying what is difficult to admit (even to ourselves) will imprison us. The opposite is true. Identifying and expressing our truth in solitude and stillness is an act of transformation.
Start telling the truth.
Here are some exercises to help you get started:
- Imagine your heart as a smaller version of yourself. What is she wanting to tell you? How is she moving? What’s the expression on her face?
- Write a letter to a loved one, your future self, your guardian angel or the Creator. Write from your heart. What most needs to be expressed in this moment? No issue is too big, nor too trivial.
- Speak your prayers. Connect with your Higher Power out loud. Whisper, sing, cry, or yell. Don’t hold back, ask for what you are needing.
- Use a journal or even a recording device to freely express your ideas. Don’t censor. Just speak or write what is there in that moment.
- Confess your deepest truth to a trusted friend, coach or counselor. The act of having someone receive you in an open-hearted way is healing.
These exercises are simple, yet powerful. Truth telling is a practice. Once you start being honest about where you are or who you are in any moment, it changes. Truth telling transforms our reality. It frees us. It heals us. It empowers us. Patience, open-heartedness, and courage is required.
What truth is waiting to be expressed?
Challenging post, E.
I believe that my blog is one such place that I can tell the truth. While I risk ridicule & shame by sharing in such a public way, my readers appreciate it and I find that I demand more of it from myself in my writing as time goes on.
Where I “struggle” is in my expectation of truth telling from others. I expect it, I crave it, and am often disappointed. I am drawn to blogs like yours and my other Twitter buddies for your willingness to be vulnerable and tell your truth. Even though we’ve never met, I love & respect you for that and for giving me this gift today to go deeper into my own truth.
Thank you.
Challenging post, E.
I believe that my blog is one such place that I can tell the truth. While I risk ridicule & shame by sharing in such a public way, my readers appreciate it and I find that I demand more of it from myself in my writing as time goes on.
Where I “struggle” is in my expectation of truth telling from others. I expect it, I crave it, and am often disappointed. I am drawn to blogs like yours and my other Twitter buddies for your willingness to be vulnerable and tell your truth. Even though we’ve never met, I love & respect you for that and for giving me this gift today to go deeper into my own truth.
Thank you.
as always, Lisa, thank you for your heartfelt response. i was afraid the tone of this post might be too challenging… and as some days have passed i realize that it is as much a challenge to me as it is to anyone else.
i agree that writing is an opportunity to tell the truth and, very often, what i most want/need to say is a reminder about how i hope to be and what i want with others…
i love and respect you as well and am grateful for your sisterhood.
xoxo E
as always, Lisa, thank you for your heartfelt response. i was afraid the tone of this post might be too challenging… and as some days have passed i realize that it is as much a challenge to me as it is to anyone else.
i agree that writing is an opportunity to tell the truth and, very often, what i most want/need to say is a reminder about how i hope to be and what i want with others…
i love and respect you as well and am grateful for your sisterhood.
xoxo E
Love this…it IS a challenge. I find that I write, or rather journal when I need to get a deep truth out, and it’s sometimes so honest, I’m afraid someone else might see it (I’ve even ripped or burned pages afterwards..but always felt good to have just gotten it …OUT :). Unfortunately, I don’t do it NEARLY as often as I would like, or should. And I do think there are some…perhaps even many truths that need not be shared with others (except maybe a very close, and open hearted confidante – if necessary) but most importantly, they should be realized, accepted, and internalized by yourself. Some truths, while freeing on some level, can cause much hurt for others – so who these truths are exposed to, and how, matter. I think it’s a balancing act – but ultimately, the goal should be contentment, honesty with oneself, and self reflection.
Thanks again for challenging us to be our better selves 🙂
Love this…it IS a challenge. I find that I write, or rather journal when I need to get a deep truth out, and it’s sometimes so honest, I’m afraid someone else might see it (I’ve even ripped or burned pages afterwards..but always felt good to have just gotten it …OUT :). Unfortunately, I don’t do it NEARLY as often as I would like, or should. And I do think there are some…perhaps even many truths that need not be shared with others (except maybe a very close, and open hearted confidante – if necessary) but most importantly, they should be realized, accepted, and internalized by yourself. Some truths, while freeing on some level, can cause much hurt for others – so who these truths are exposed to, and how, matter. I think it’s a balancing act – but ultimately, the goal should be contentment, honesty with oneself, and self reflection.
Thanks again for challenging us to be our better selves 🙂
I wish I’d had this post to read when going through an incredibly difficult time a few months ago. Finally figured out for myself all the small but snowballing ways I wasn’t letting myself acknowledge some uncomfortable truths, preferring to hide out in that larger field of Truth, or not fully feel what was actually true for me because it went against an image of myself I didn’t even know I was upholding! I love how you express the wisdom that is inside you (and therefore in all of us). Blessings and gratitude…
I wish I’d had this post to read when going through an incredibly difficult time a few months ago. Finally figured out for myself all the small but snowballing ways I wasn’t letting myself acknowledge some uncomfortable truths, preferring to hide out in that larger field of Truth, or not fully feel what was actually true for me because it went against an image of myself I didn’t even know I was upholding! I love how you express the wisdom that is inside you (and therefore in all of us). Blessings and gratitude…
I agree with all that is stated here. Yes, truth telling is scary in certain situations, for me due to all the perceived consequences of telling the truth, like stirring up anger, jealousy, rejection or alienation from another human being–especially one who you love. This exercise helps me to arrive at more authentic parts of me that don’t depend on how others percieve me. The dilemma sometimes is to find ways to express my truth while respecting others’ sensibilities and truths.
Working on it!
I agree with all that is stated here. Yes, truth telling is scary in certain situations, for me due to all the perceived consequences of telling the truth, like stirring up anger, jealousy, rejection or alienation from another human being–especially one who you love. This exercise helps me to arrive at more authentic parts of me that don’t depend on how others percieve me. The dilemma sometimes is to find ways to express my truth while respecting others’ sensibilities and truths.
Working on it!
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